Recent History, Part 2
Now to get you caught up to the present.
After Callum was born, the pain didn’t stop there. Oh, no. Of course there were the regular difficulties of bringing a second child into the house while maintaining the happiness of the first. Charlotte was naturally a bit jealous of the new interloper that took so much of Mommy’s time. And all he had to do was cry and he’d be fed more milk! But we were fortunate; most of this settled down within a week or two. Truth is, Charlotte really wanted to be more helpful than anything; just maybe a bit too helpful. She was quick to want to jam his pacifier down his throat should he make the great mistake of letting go of it.
But I still had the upcoming gallbladder surgery hanging over my head. My parents came over from the States to help manage both kids, primarily during my recovery from the surgery, but also to be here for Charlotte’s 2nd birthday since they couldn’t be here for her first. My pre-surgery consultation with the specialist kept getting put back, and then the date of the surgery was scheduled for later than was originally planned, so Mom and Dad had to extend their stay with us. That wasn’t bad, of course. But this whole time I was dealing with something else that had returned from the time when Charlotte was on her way two years earlier.
I had this dreadful feeling of unexplained sadness and unshakeable lethargy. And well, you know moms. You can’t really tell them everything that’s on your mind, or they’ll start worrying themselves sick. I never had it diagnosed the first time or this, so I can’t officially say I suffered from postnatal depression. By the way, that’s a bit of a misnomer, that “postnatal” part. It can actually start while you’re still pregnant. In fact, that’s when I dealt with it the first time: before Charlotte arrived. I don’t remember that horrible fog after she was born, just sheer happiness (and exhaustion) because we had waited for her for so many years. But with Callum, it came back a few months into the pregnancy, and stayed solidly for sometime after he was born. It was only a few weeks ago, not even two months, that I started to feel like myself again. Maybe part of it all was the worry and frustration around the gallbladder surgery which, by the way, went much better than expected. But that wasn’t all of it, I’m sure. Even as I write this now, today is one of the tougher days.
But I think that sufficiently brings you up to date. Now it’s the endless stream of child wrangling, laundry washing, cleaning (although admittedly that doesn’t take up too much of my time), and cooking. I don’t really have much time to spend doing things I want to do like reading, crafts, or music (I was starting to teach myself ukulele). So I’ve decided to spend the time I don’t have writing a blog. Please read it so I’m not wasting my time.